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You might be a gun nut if...

922 Views 7 Replies 5 Participants Last post by  speaker
Oh dear God... It scares me how many of these is true about me.

You might be a gun nut if...



~you can't remember the plot of the last movie you saw, but you can name the model, caliber and finish of every firearm in the movie.

~you reflexively count the number of shots fired by every weapon in the film, then gripe to your friends when the actors exceed the magazine capacities.

~you watch old WWII movies and can identify and look at all the rifles and handguns but can't remember who stared in the movie or what it was about..

~if, when you watch a WWII movie, you have to get out th' old Garand and 1911 and help John Wayne shoot the Japs and Krauts. Even when he's in the Navy.

~if, while helping John, you've ever actually shot the TV. ("Is this thing loaded?")

~you see pictures of war on T.V. and all you can think about is that you want to be there so you can pick up the BRASS.

~it bothers you more when 007 runs out of ammo than when the BOND girl dies.

~you watch La Femme Nikita just to see the HK MP5s.

~your only criteria for renting a video is what guns it might have in it.

~while watching the movie "Terminator 2" you have to leave the room in tears and mornful sobs after Arnold Swartzenneger throws the CAR-16 off the moving tractor trailer and it goes bouncing away~.

~everytime you see the finale of the Sam Peckinpa movie "The Wild Bunch" you think to yourself "what a waste of brass!".

~your friends refuse to see ANY films containing firearms with you.


~when you met your wife's parents for the 1st time you arrived at their house riding a motorcycle and wearing a S&W DA/Auto on your hip.

~you and your new father-in-law go to a gun show on your wedding day.

~your wife's bridal registry was at the local gun shop.

~you have spent more on guns in the last 6 months than you did on your wifes engagement ring.

~your fiance didn't want a ring, she wanted an M1 carbine. And, you bought her one.

~you use a lathe to turn a nice ring from the appropriate size case. You engrave it with a few hearts and then nickel plate it and add gold inlay. She'll love you for having the "personal" touch, being careful with the family money, and from knowing you'll be able to keep her guns in tiptop shape.

~have traded the wife's wedding ring for a shotgun, and she let you.

~you take your wife on vacation to a gun show for your 10th Anniversary and she is as excited to go as you are.

~you let your wife go out and blow all kinds of money on junk she'll never use just so she won't gripe when you buy that latest piece you really need for your collection.

~your mother-in-law asks what new gun junk you want for Christmas this year.

~you remember important family dates based on when you purchased a firearm.

~you build a gun rack in your bedroom and it's closer to you than your wife.

~your wife tells you that you can't subscribe to any more gun magazines until you do something with all the old ones you're keeping.

~you have Trijicon Night-lights in your bedroom.

~your teenage daughter's next date is introduced to you while your sitting at the loading bench cleaning your M-1.

~if half the guests at your daughter's wedding are shooters and their wives or husbands had fun talking.

~your wife says to buy a gun she would like you to sell one first.

~your wife wants to wear black leather so you buy her a carry holster.

~your gun safe cost more then your dining room set.

~you get rid of the microwave to make room for the brass tumbler.

~you or your wife do the wash, several spent casings fall out of your rolled-up sleves.

~it is very common in your household to step on BBs, spent and live primers, and the occassional .22 rimfire with bare feet.

~your wife often vacuums-up live primers you dropped in the carpert.

~you both enjoy the excitement when she does vacuum.

~you find some live primers laying in the driveway.

~when daughter was growing up hand her boyfriends a 45-70 round and tell them you have lots more where that came from.

~you introduce yourself to your daughter's suitors as "a very good shot" and you have a copy of Guns And Ammo in one hand and are wearing your NRA Life Member hat. A holstered large pistol on your belt is optional.

~after being introduced to the new boyfriend you quote from "Clueless" by saying: "Young man, I own a .45 and a shovel...don't make me have to use either one."

~your wife/girlfriend starts using Hoppes No. 9 instead of perfume to get your attention.

~your wife/girlfrind thinks that aura of Hoppies #9 is your favorite after shave.

~you use Hoppes No. 9 as a room or carpet freshener.

~you are asked by a waitress what cologne you are wearing. You just got done cleaning your guns.

~you think a shotgun wedding is what happens when a fellow gets overly fond of his 12 gauge.

~you consider naming your unborn child Winchester.

~you name your first-born boy MAK90.

~you name your first-born girl LadySmith.

~your kid's huggies come in camo battlepacks.

~your wife threatened to leave you after finding 400 muddy shotshells soaking in the bathtub for the tenth time.

~you find out that the dishwasher does a MUCH better job but your wife threatens to leave you because she is tired of fishing em out from under the heating elements.

~you go to a marriage counselor, he asks you which you like better, shooting or sex, and you think it's the stupidest question you've ever heard.


~you buy a gun at a shop only to find out you used to own it a couple of years ago.

~the largest gun store in your area *calls* you if they need something they can't get elsewhere.

~when buying a new gun, you plead with your gun shop to keep it until you have space for it.

~you've ever sent a scope (that was never dropped) back to Leupold for repair.

~factories ask *you* how well their guns hold up.

~Hornady's largest midwestern distributor informs you that you've bought over half of all the Vector ammo they've ever had in stock.

~your standard Sunday-afternoon question to guys selling surplus ammo at gun shows is "How much for all of it, so you don't have to lug it home?"

~you shoot enough Berdan-primed ammo that you are on a first-name basis with your local scrap metal dealer.

~you are on a first-name basis with every major tire shop owner within a 25-mile radius.

~upon seeing your 1978 wildcatting project (a .375 on a .50 Sharps 3 1/4" case, 3340 FPS with a 300 Sierra boattail), Elmer Keith says "You're nuts!"

~Keith Francis (at JGS, the chambering reamer company), answers your phone calls "What have you dreamed up *this* time?"

~you own a firearm listed in the Guinness book.


~you put a Hogue Grip on your car's parking brake

~you have a magazine loader on your key ring.

~you use a .32-20 casing for a pen cap.

~your key-ring fob is a converted .50BMG cartridge.

~your collection of AR back issues, Gun digests and reloading manuals cost you a premium the last time you moved. (or maybe that is a sign that you are an OLD gun nut!)

~Peter Alan Kasler owes you a lunch because you caught him out on an obscure fine point of firearms law, you just might be ...

~every time one of your friends goes to buy a new gun they check with you first, since you've probably had one already, and because they know you have ammo and gun parts sitting around for guns you no longer own.

~spend 3 days going through the SGN looking through ALL the ads to get the COMPLETE kit for a weapon and then order through the 30 or so mail order companies that are needed for this and then build it. Just because you can.

~you slip and almost fall out the second story bathroom window because of the Guns & Ammo you left in front of the throne.

~if you get a flat and realize that you've got 400 pounds of shot, a Hefty bag each of wads and empty hulls, and enough primers to re-open the main shaft of the Lost Dutchman on top of your spare tire.

~if the Bible you read every night before bed is the Shooter's Bible.

~you take your guns out of the safe each night and handle them, just so you can wipe them off before putting them away.

~you keep a loaded gun hidden in every room in the house, including the bathroom and kitchen, "just in case", and then keep one on you at all times just in case someone breaks in while you're in the hallway.

~you named your pocket pistol "Little Guy" and your 12 guage "Big Jake."

~you wash your hands BEFORE taking a dump so you can take a piece of your collection in with you and not get salty sweat on the blue.

~you make $15 per hour at work, but spend 30 minutes on your knees at the range looking for that last piece of 40 S&W brass.

~you have to decide the difference between a gun nut and a firearms enthusiast? Is it 1,000 rounds per day or week?

~you read that "Brady II" would outlaw possession of more than 1,000 rounds of ammunition and think "I have more than that rolling around loose in the trunk of my car!", you just might be a gun nut.

~you could identify on sight all rifle bolt-faces as in - "that's a Ruger, that's a Savage, that's a WInchester .."

~you can identify gunshots from faraway as to caliber, whether from a rifle or pistol, brand of gun, grains of powder used, *what* powder and at what speed! Then you realize you can tell if it is blued or stainless.

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I read the whole thing and only one was applicable forme; '~when you go to the magazine rack, you check the Guns and Ammo cover to see if there are new guns as compared to checking the Playboy cover to see what it is offering.'

Looking at Playboy now days is like reading a magazine of anime booty.
It's all hand drawn fake fantasy.

- Janq
1 - 1 of 8 Posts
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