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You guys ever hear of the Mall Ninja?

1217 Views 9 Replies 7 Participants Last post by  fatcat
Old news to some of us, but some funny shiznit for those who haven't heard.....


Snippet from “Am I being careful enough?” thread from GlockTalk

Gecko45 writes:

hello friends,

Last year I made the decision to trust my life on the street to Second Chance body armor. I got the level IIa because it stops the most rounds. plus I got the Trauma Plate for the front.

What scares me is that, although I can fit an extra trauma plate in the front, I cannot fit a second one in back. As of late I have taken to duct-taping a second trauma plate to the area of my back where the heart and vital organs are located. Then I put my vest on.

Here is the questions. The ducttape solution, although tactically sound, is hot and painful to remove. I would like to go to the single-plate solution in back. What I am worried about is repeated hits to that area with .308 ammunition. I have a high-risk security job and I fear that I would be the target for repeated long-distance shots to my back.

Are any of you aware of a thicker plate that could stop, say, .338 Lapua or something like that? Is there a better way to do the second plate?

BTW, I am, of course, usually carrying a pair of ceramic plates in my briefcase so that I can shield my head. My SO (we work as a team when necessary) has a similar accessory containing a breakdown NEF single-shot 300 WinMag with an 18″ bbl. The plan is that I shield us with my body and “catch the rounds” while she assembles the NEF. I lay down covering fire with my 23 (Bar-Sto .357 Sig barrel) and she makes the long shots. I will then throw smoke grenades to obscure the area while continuing to lay covering fire. The problem, of course, is when I have to turn my back to run, and then the problem crops up.

One poster responded, “If Plan A is to take multiple .338 shots to the back, you really need to come up with a Plan B.” Needless to say, alot of folks started seriously wondering where this guy worked…
Gecko45 writes:

Thanks to everybody for the help. I am now thinking that the best thing to do is to have my wife make an “undervest” with pouches front and rear for the additional plates. This would let me have three plates in front (probably too hot and two in back. What I’m also asking her to do is to sew in a sleeve for an ASP collapsible baton. Right now I’m taping the ASP to my right calf (the left calf is where I have my G27).It’s okay for me to talk about my job, as long as I’m not specific. I am the Sergeant of a three-man Rapid Tactical Force at one of America’s largest indoor retail shopping areas. [And here the myth begins…] Although there are typically between fifteen and twenty normal security officers working the beat there, we decided a while ago that it would be best to have a specilized force for violent individuals. We use modified electric vehicles and can be anywhere on a given floor within eight and a half minutes.Naturally, the regular security people are unarmed. We “RTFers”, by arrangement with the local police, carry high-strength OC spray and batons. If we have a full tactical alert and permission from the local LEOs we also have a Mossberg 500 with less-lethal rounds and two K-frame Smith .38s loaded with 158gr. LRN.Basically, the situation is that we get the call, we lock up the situation, put everything five by five, and cordon the area until the local authorities arrive. We’re cops, we just don’t get the glory. [Somehow, I imagine the real police wouldn’t agree…]I am not permitted to carry Glocks on duty; however, when my wife picks me up from work I strap on the “Deadly Duo” of a 27 and 23, each with Bar-Sto .357 bbl.

I am writing a proposal to replace our current Mossberg/Smith armament with the following:

* 3) MP5K-PDW with red-dot sights;
* 2) G36 rifles using SS109 rounds;
* 3) Glock practical tacticles in .357 Sig
* 1) PSG-1 using Fed Gold Medal .308
* 1) Starlight scope for the PSG-1 in case we lose power in the building.
* 3) Glock 27 backup guns
* 3) Kahr P-9 holdouts

I think this would make us capable of facing nearly any situation. I’ll let you know what the management says!!!


It goes on and on. "I am the Sergeant of a three-man Rapid Tactical Force at one of America’s largest indoor retail shopping areas. " hehehe...
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lol Good luck on that MP5K and the G36 with SS109's... As for the .338 lupa Anyone ever seen one of these rounds? They are MASSAVE we got some at the shop and I said Its one of those rounds that makes you wonder what end is more dangerous.

Good read thanks
HAHAHA! Just keep reading

gangbangers armed with chrome Lorcin .25s and tec 9s. A lot of these kids are sporting Glocks in 10mm and .357, some USPs, Sigs, and an occasional Desert Eagle in .50AE. Usually they are wearing at least level IIA concealible vests. Long arms range from AKs to AR15s, the usual shotguns and some long-range stuff. Ran into one with a Rem700p in 300 win-mag with a Leupold Mk4 sitting on top of it.

Some of these kids have been enlisting to get the military training and they go AWOL and teach the other punks what they’ve learned, especially CQB and MOUT. Hell, I’ve run into a share of amature ‘gunsmiths.’ One kid had a SKS modified for FA and it was cut down to a Krinkov like-carbine length with a folding stock. Another had Rem1100 modified to fire in FA and modified to accept a 20rd drum from a USAS12.

Now that I work mainly in corporate security, you wouldn’t believe the gear these corp. espionage types use. Temp. controlled level IV suits to beat the heat sensors, PVS14 goggles, MP5K-N PDWs with KAC cans, I could go on and on about those guys…
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Janq said:
Never heard of this.
The guy cannot be serious though...can he?

Folks like this on the gun boards crack me up.
Trauma plates in his briefcase to hold up for his head! :lol:

- Janq

Thats why I enjoy this place so much... I was a member or the AR forums but had to deal with to many Arm chair warriors who had no idea what there talking about who would fight with you when everyone else knows your right.
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