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Plays Counter Strike and knows everything about gu
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1,099 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Took this on another forum and thought i would share


What I Learned from Porn

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1. Women wear high heels to bed.

2. Men are never impotent.

3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.

4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.

5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.

6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.

7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.

8. Women always orgasm when men do.

9. A blowjob will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.

10. All women are noisy ****s.

11. People in the 70s couldn't **** unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.

12. Those t**s are real.

13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.

14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they ***.

15. If there are two of them they "high five" each other. (and the girl isn't disgusted!)

16. Double penetration makes women smile.

17. Asian men don't exist.

18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of s**t out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.

19. There's a plot.

20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the butt.

21. Nurses love to suck patient's cocks.

22. Men always pull out and masturbate at the end.

23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before joining in and ****ing the both of you.

24. Women never have headaches... or periods.

25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to keep reminding her to "suck it".

26. a**holes are always clean.

27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.

28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a cock there.

29. Men don't have to beg.

30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.
 

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Annihilator
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4,782 Posts
LMAO, if only it were all true.

jk, I like Asian men... not in that way! Damnit, I set myself up for that one. lol
 

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Fanatical Feline
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5,279 Posts
lol Does it say where he got it? I read that on entensity about two weeks ago.

lol... Number 10 is true about those movies.... Not that I would EVER! watch a discusting thing such as porn...
 

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Plays Counter Strike and knows everything about gu
Joined
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1,099 Posts
Discussion Starter #5
fatcat said:
lol Does it say where he got it? I read that on entensity about two weeks ago.

lol... Number 10 is true about those movies.... Not that I would EVER! watch a discusting thing such as porn...
If I remember right, I think I got it from snipershide.com
I laughed my ass off and thought you guys would enjoy it.
I was going to post it on nasioc, but wasn't sure if it was clean enough.
 
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