[The Ghoul]

Another one of my best friends have left on his mission. 4 are gone. My only non-mormon friend, Billy, is super busy with water polo and work. Me, I have busted down to a remedial job at a video store.

I'm taking non-sense classes that pertain and will help me on my way to becoming a firefighter, but that's a shot in hell. Anyone in SoCal that wants to be either a LE or FF need to not be a white male. Cause everything is super PC here.

Lost any hope I had with getting with a girl. Screwed that up beyond comprehension.

Back into therapy due to sexual abuse related problems. Seems like rage associated with involved parties is stemming out and becoming an issue. I had to make a list of my 'shames' the other day. These are things that I'd kill to keep secret. Literally. Now I have to read them in front of people.

On the bright side, I get 5 free movie rentals a week. I also am in damn good shape.

IDK. Life blows. I wish I was a kid again.

 

[Adler]

I hated being a kid, at least as an adult I can hide from people when I get sick of the world. We all get stuck in ruts, and that cannot be helped. Perhaps its coming time for a change of address if you hate the PC world out there. Hell I can barely take it at my job and am glad to commute home to my very un PC town. I just try to stay from getting down when shit happens, I much prefer angry as at least when I am angry I have energy and drive to right shit. Relationships are hard to. I went through a great deal of pain before I got lucky and finally found someone to put up with my shit. If it can happen to an ungly out of shape chud like me, I am sure you will be fine. Hey at least you are not in chronic pain all the time like me. Hell there are somedays my knees work about as well as a knife in a gunfight. Going up the stiars at home feels like I am pissing in the wind.

Keep on...shit has a way of making itself better over time

 

[The Ghoul]

I hated being a kid, at least as an adult I can hide from people when I get sick of the world. We all get stuck in ruts, and that cannot be helped. Perhaps its coming time for a change of address if you hate the PC world out there. Hell I can barely take it at my job and am glad to commute home to my very un PC town. I just try to stay from getting down when shit happens, I much prefer angry as at least when I am angry I have energy and drive to right shit. Relationships are hard to. I went through a great deal of pain before I got lucky and finally found someone to put up with my shit. If it can happen to an ungly out of shape chud like me, I am sure you will be fine. Hey at least you are not in chronic pain all the time like me. Hell there are somedays my knees work about as well as a knife in a gunfight. Going up the stiars at home feels like I am pissing in the wind.

Keep on...shit has a way of making itself better over time

This is all true.

Some days life just sucks.

Hell there are somedays my knees work about as well as a knife in a gunfight.

Haven't seen the Punisher, have you?

 

[Adler]

In light of the punisher comment I will revise my statement. "Somedays my knees are so bad going up stairs I feel like I am trying to piss into the wind. I am not getting much done and only hurting myself"

 

[The Ghoul]

Heh. That sucks mang. Is it a bone problem or is it the tendons?

 

[DaButtKraken]

Another one of my best friends have left on his mission. 4 are gone. My only non-mormon friend, Billy, is super busy with water polo and work. Me, I have busted down to a remedial job at a video store.

I'm taking non-sense classes that pertain and will help me on my way to becoming a firefighter, but that's a shot in hell. Anyone in SoCal that wants to be either a LE or FF need to not be a white male. Cause everything is super PC here.

Lost any hope I had with getting with a girl. Screwed that up beyond comprehension.

Back into therapy due to sexual abuse related problems. Seems like rage associated with involved parties is stemming out and becoming an issue. I had to make a list of my 'shames' the other day. These are things that I'd kill to keep secret. Literally. Now I have to read them in front of people.

On the bright side, I get 5 free movie rentals a week. I also am in damn good shape.

IDK. Life blows. I wish I was a kid again.

Sounds like you have been through some tough shit. If you can survive that, you can get past this tough patch too. Keep pushing through brother.

 

[The Ghoul]

It is just weird. One day I'm feeling fine, the other I'm focusing on one task at a time not thinking about anything else, and the next life just flat out blows. I go through these cycles. I feel like I'm just wasting my time, and then I have so much motivation and ambition that I can't sit still.

 

[Adler]

Heh. That sucks mang. Is it a bone problem or is it the tendons?

My right knee has been fucked up since it was on the receiving end of an aluminum baseball bat when I was mugged at 14. It fucked up my kneecap and my cartilage in there. So basically I have lost my cartilage cushion and the joints grinds alot. My left is only marginally better do to getting beaten on to a lesser extent many times in fights, accidents, and such. I would prefer to forgo knee replacement for as long as possible, hoping that technology improves and once I am a prof somewhere that I get better health insurance that would cover it. Right now what I have is only mediocre and pays for surgery if its a life threatening thing such as injuries in a car wreck or a compound fracture.......something like that. I also have a bad rotator cuff, a back that has a nerve that likes to bother me every once in a while, and various other ailments stemming from capricious youth.

 

[The Ghoul]

Hmmnm. What insurance do you have? You might want to look into getting that taken care of...like soon. Living in that kind of pain isn't something one should do, and neglecting to take care of one's body also isn't something one should do.

 

[Adler]

I have the shitty free insurance they give us T.A.s at ISU. Its been bothering me for 12 years. You actually become somewhat acclimated to the pain of it. I have quite a high tolerance for pain since then. They used to prescribe me painkillers for it until I was 16, but they made me loopy and I only took them when I had to . I once bested all 4 of my fingers on my right hand when my dad closed the car door on them(it closed so hard it latched) and I didn't even scream. I just tapped him in the shoulder and asked him to please take my hand out the door. I admit I teared up, but most people would have screamed like hell. Compared to that and having a scissors in my leg( thank you crazy girl), the knee isn't that bad. Only when its really really cold out does it get to the point where its hard to function. Those are the days I have trouble. I only have 2 more years till I can get it fixed hopefully. But I am very Nietzschian in the way I think what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

 

[The Ghoul]

But I am very Nietzschian in the way I think what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Or destroys surrounding tissue to the point of no return.
Sorry to hear it mang.

It sucks to have shit wrong with your body. I have similar problems with my right elbow and shoulder. I broke my elbow when I was 15. End of bone came off (ball part of the joint). 5 pins, 2 surgerys, and 6 months later, I couldn't move my arm. Now I can fully funtion, for the most part. It still doesn't open all the way.

My should...oh my shoulder. Dislocated it when I was a kid, and on an outing when I was an instructor I took a round through it via ND/AD. Any diagonal movement hurts. Lots.

Maybe I'll trade my body in on a newer model. I mean hell, I do it with women, and people do it with cars...I figure why not?

 

[brucelee]

I know this from personal experience man, and I know people will always tell you this, but god dammit, it's true. No matter how bad of a situation you are in right now, things WILL get better if you put any sort of effort into finding happiness!

I want to go into details about it right now but I'm strapped for time.

Keep your head up man, your age is the toughest time period I had ever gone through... It will get better when you get a little older, and trust me man, instead of letting things get you down, put effort into making things better for your life.

sorry to hear it brotha', just hang in there and keep being strong!

 

[DaButtKraken]

It is just weird. One day I'm feeling fine, the other I'm focusing on one task at a time not thinking about anything else, and the next life just flat out blows. I go through these cycles. I feel like I'm just wasting my time, and then I have so much motivation and ambition that I can't sit still.

You could be bi-polar. Maybe you should speak to a Dr. about it.

 

[The Ghoul]

You could be bi-polar. Maybe you should speak to a Dr. about it.

Could be.