[Janq]

I've been with my wife coming up on 15 yrs. now this Halloween.
In all those years I don't think one month has gone by when I have not commented to her to 'Please be sure to fully shut and lock the door when you enter or leave the house'. She's to date continually laughed me off no matter where we've lived.

She and her family including her sister never lock doors and rarely even close them. Yes I'm being totally serious here, they will walk in the house and straight up leave the front, side, or rear door wide open (!).
All of them for 15 yrs. have been laughing at me and her uncle too commenting that I'm just paranoid or "from the city", in what really is a patronizing statement though I let it slide to keep the peace.

Today though I woke up, walked to my office, booted up my laptop and switched on CNN to find coverage toward a horrible story of a family in Cheshire, CT that had been robbed, raped, murdered, and then their house burned down to the ground.
I watched this on my TV and then of course went to ABCNews. com and there it was a pic of the victims. The mom looks like my wife. For that matter the whole family looks like everybody on my block except for me and my own olive skinned kids.

I thought on this story all day and even went so far as to turn off CNN just because I didn't want to see the story feature again today. It was for me troubling as this family very well could have been mine or me.

After dinner I told my wife that I'd found the door today and yesterday and Saturday unlocked, yet again. She was like yeah I'll try to remember.
I'm done with being a nice guy because I fear she's going to get me hemmed up if not killed over some completely stupid shit!

Tonight I spent an hour drafting the following e-mail and after 10 more minutes of thought I hit 'Send'....

<Continued at the next page>

 

[Janq]

[I need you to read the whole thing, do not skim it, as this is very important!]

[Mrs. Janq],

The following is just one of the 100 reasons why it is so very important to lock the doors when you leave the house and is why I check the doors at night.
This includes the kitchen door _and_ the kitchen stairway door which I've also found over the past week unlocked several times.

I'm sure this family two days ago had thought and told with a smile anyone who asked; "Ehh nothing ever happens in Cheshire (CT), this is a 'nice' family neighborhood."...

Conn. Town Stunned by Deadly Robbery
Connecticut Town Stunned After 3 Family Members Die in Apparent Arson-Home Invasion
POSTED: 12:06 pm EDT July 23, 2007
UPDATED: 11:18 am EDT July 24, 2007

CHESHIRE, Conn. -- A prominent doctor's wife and two daughters died in a fire that police said was ignited after a home invasion early Monday morning.Investigators told Eyewitness News they believe a home invasion robbery took place at about 3 a.m. at the home of Dr. William Petit Jr. Police said they believe the assailants set the house on fire before leaving the scene..."In Cheshire we're not used to this type of event," Cheshire Police Chief Michael Cruess said. "It's a very unfortunate, tragic event that's probably going to reach right down to the core of the community"...

TIMELINE IN CHESHIRE DEATHS
July 23, 2007:
· Police: Assailants enter home at 3 a.m.
· Police: Mother taken to bank at 9:30 a.m.
· Bank calls police to report suspicious activity
· Officers respond, discover fire at house
· Two men arrested near scene
· Dr. William Petit Jr. found outside, hospitalized
· Police confirm three deaths at noon

Source - http://www.wfsb.com/news/13736066/detail.html
Additional extended information can be found here - http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory?id=3407703


As well they would have been right to think as much because as fact Cheshire is a relatively low crime locale per CityRating.com, whom I commonly reference toward.
But living in a low crime area is not the same as a no crime area and there is no such place in America that is a 'no crime area', not even on the grounds of the Whitehouse.
Every _day_ in America crimes of opportunity comes to someones door step and not just in so called 'bad areas' and not to people who are looking for trouble either, but people just like these people and you and our kids too.


Cheshire Crime Report
Burglary - "Is 0.25 times the National Average"
Arson - "Is 0.23 times the National Average"
All Property Crime - "Is 0.23 times the National Average"
Murder - "Is 0.00 times the National Average"
Robbery - "Is 0.05 times the National Average"
Forcible Rape - "Is 0.19 times the National Average"
All Violent Crime - "Is 0.07 times the National Average"
Source - http://www.cityrating.com/citycrime.asp?city=Cheshire&state=CT


The CT State Police have today charged these two harmless looking and as prior assessed by the state of CT parole board child and wife raping, family murdering, arsonists with multiple crimes toward the incident...

Joshua Komisarjevsky - 26 yrs. old

* One count:
o First-degree assault (CNN says THEY RAPED THE OLDER HS AGED DAUGHTER BEFORE KILLING THE WHOLE FAMILY!)
o First-degree aggravated sexual assault (The mom/wife was victimized as well...before being forcibly taken to the bank to withdraw funds)
o First-degree burglary
o First-degree arson
o First-degree conspiracy to commit arson
o First-degree robbery
o Risk of injury
* Two countss:
o First-degree larceny
* Four counts:
o First-degree kidnapping

"...Komisarjevsky remains held on $15 million bond after facing a judge on Tuesday...Eyewitness News obtained Komisarjevsky's criminal record early Tuesday morning. According to that document, state authorities consider Komisarjevsky a minimum security offender and he has a minimal violence history. Komisarjevsky's criminal record indicates he first entered the system on March 11, 2002.On Jan. 3, 2003, Komisarjevsky was sentenced to nine years in prison for second-degree burglary. He was released to a halfway house on June 6, 2006, and was granted parole by the Board of Pardons and Parole on April 10. Eyewitness News has learned that Komisarjevsky and Hayes recently lived in the same halfway house following their release from prison. According to the criminal record, both Komisarjevsky and Hayes were deemed to be appropriate candidates for supervised parole in the community, based on their criminal history that involved a minimum level of violence. Eyewitness News has learned that both men reported weekly with parole officers and fully complied with the requirements of their release."
Source - http://www.wfsb.com/news/13745324/detail.html#


Steve Hayes - 44 yrs. old

* One count:
o First-degree aggravated sexual assault (CNN says THEY RAPED THE OLDER HS AGED DAUGHTER BEFORE ULTIMATELY KILLING THE WHOLE FAMILY!)
o First-degree burglary (The mom/wife was victimized as well...before being forcibly taken to the bank to withdraw funds)
o First-degree arson
o First-degree conspiracy to commit arson
o First-degree robbery
o Risk of injury
* Two counts:
o First-degree larceny
* Four counts:
o First-degree kidnapping

"...Hayes remains held on $15 million bond after facing a judge on Tuesday...Eyewitness News obtained Hayes' criminal record early Tuesday morning. According to that document, state authorities consider Hayes a minimum security offender and he has a minimal violence history. Hayes' criminal record indicates he first entered the system on June 30, 1980. According to his criminal record, Hayes was sentenced to five years in prison for third-degree burglary on Oct. 1, 2003.He was then released to a halfway house on June 13, 2006. According to his criminal record, Hayes was re-incarcerated for a technical violation and drug use on Nov. 26, 2006. The Board of Pardons and Parole granted Hayes' parole by May 3. Eyewitness News has learned that Komisarjevsky and Hayes recently lived in the same halfway house following their release from prison.According to the criminal record, both Komisarjevsky and Hayes were deemed to be appropriate candidates for supervised parole in the community, based on their criminal histories, which involved a minimum level of violence. Eyewitness News has learned that both men reported weekly with parole officers and fully complied with the requirements of their release."
Source - http://www.wfsb.com/news/13745529/detail.html#

<Continued below>

 

[brucelee]

Are you trying to say all white people look the same/!?!?!?




Seriously though, that would drive me insane. How the hell do you deal with that? I can't sleep unless I know every door, window, rooftile is secure and locked, have a pistol loaded and next to me... My family knows better than to keep doors unlocked.

You need to force them to watch the news, force them to see the horrific stuff that happens in this world... You need to MAKE them paranoid man! My fiancee didn't have a care in the world before she met me... Everything was all great and peachy and no one got hurt. Guess who wants to get a gun to carry and conceal now? You guessed it.

The key is to not sugar coat things for people... Watch Americas Most Wanted, tell her stories about The Night Stalker, etc... Make her scared!

A lot of crimes do happen in nice suburban areas because those families tend to have $$ and nice stuff.


Either that, or go install an alarm which makes an annoying buzzing sound till the doors are closed and locked. That'll teach her!

 

[Janq]

Petty criminals..."considered to be a minimum security offender"..."has a minimal violence history"..."drug use"..."deemed to be appropriate candidates for supervised parole in the community"...nice little out of the way low crime community...
Does the above sound somewhat familiar?


It will be of zero consolation to me if some day or night I find myself fighting with a mentally ill person or a paroled criminal in my home because one of the doors was left unlocked and now I have to either take that person, or as in this case multiple persons!, life/lives in order to prevent mine and yours and the kids lives from being snuffed out over some crap ass robbery for several hundred dollars at some bad guys whim. And yes as distasteful as the concept might seem for you they would have to die because if I don't do it they will do it to me, and then you, and then [BabyJanq], and then [BayJanqDeux]...and then as almost always 9-1-1 shows up after the fact when they are pretty much useless to take a report, get statements, and hear stories from our neighbors and friends about how we were just a nice little family...just like most every other victim.
You telling me it was [your sister], or your dad, or some other visitor who exited through the door is of no consolation to me at all and will not be when I'm laid up in the hospital like Mr. Petit fucked up, or worst you and I and the kids too are all dead.
[Our dog] BTW at best is an early warning system but it's not like one can depend on an untrained dog, not even a big dog. That too as based on real life results is not a surety, akin to thinking 'Eh I'll just dial 9-1-1'.

When guests are here I do not expect them to act right in regard to the doors and locking them, especially considering they do not have keys to the house to do so or for that matter like [your dad] & [step mom] and everyone else from around here do not even do the same at their own homes.
Even when we do not have guests I come down during the day to still find the doors unlocked if not ajar or even open.
As well more than once I've had people come to the door here and open it yelling out 'Hello?!' when I was not otherwise expecting anyone to be here and had no idea if you were home or who the hell else might be in the house poking around because well thats what largely harmless eccentric [local to here] people do or some such nonsense.
As I told you before, that is _exactly_ how I came to meet [our neighbor from 2 doors down] as he was poking his head around inside the house at our unlocked and partly open side door! I just happened to be coming down stairs to the kitchen to get something to drink when I heard him open the door more and say "Hello?!".

Crime of all sorts occur everywhere to anyone at any given time at any place (!) and even to nice people who have never had crap happen to them or in there 'hood before...and the bad guys do not need guns either.
No firearms were used by these criminals which pretty much blows that whole get rid of guns and crime goes away idioticly simplistic theory completely out the water...just as the English, Scotish, Australians, and most of Europe have discovered the hard way.
Oh and we living in a rural area is no protection either contrary to peoples imaginations. The latest FBI stats indicate crime in rural cities and towns has increased across the board with specifically small cities 25K or less population numbers being up 12.8%!


FBI: Violent crimes jump in first half of 2006
Upswing continues trend that began in 2005; small cities see biggest rise
"...The FBI crime report, which comes out every six months, gave the latest statistics, but provided no explanation for the increase.
It said reported murders were up 3.1 percent in metropolitan areas, but the largest increase —8.4 percent — occurred in cities with population of between 500,000 and 1 million.
Robberies were up in all population areas — rural, small cities, medium sized-cities and big cities. The largest increase — 12.8 percent — occurred in cities with populations of only 10,000 to 25,000.While violent crimes increased, so-called property crimes went down by 2.6 percent, mainly reflecting a decline in motor vehicle theft of 2.3 percent. But burglaries showed an increase of 1.2 percent and arsons also went up by 6.8 percent nationwide."
Sources - http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11497293 and the http://www.fbi.gov/ucr/05cius/data/table_02.html (FBI 'Uniform Crime Reporting System')


[Mrs. Janq] this is serious business not just me being overly concerned or 'paranoid' or not being from here or some other crap ass supposition.
We as parents have a responsibility to protect ourselves and now same applies to our children too. For years I've been telling you this stuff.
What has to happen to get the picture across, the above happening to a neighbor on our own street or to someone you yourself actually know or to us?!

Locking the door behind ourselves is completely easy to do and takes just a second or two max, even if with a kid in hand being in a hurry or whatever.
I bet Dr. Petit if he survives muchless recovers from his injuries he would now today say the exact same thing I am right now, secure your home and do the simplest of things by being sure to lock your doors.
Oh, and aside from having lost his whole damn family he's likely suffered injuries that if not are debilitating or crippling will affect his ability to continue his profession and thus his livelihood and ability to simply live life stolen from him as well...assuming he survives.
This could very easily be you or me as these people look just like our neighbors and your friends.

Think of locking the door when you leave as being akin to buckling your seatbelt upon entering a car.
A house door locked behind you can quite literally save your life, or that of your children, or that of your husband, or simply your possessions from being ripped off.

- Henry

 

[Janq]

Are you trying to say all white people look the same/!?!?!?




Seriously though, that would drive me insane. How the hell do you deal with that? I can't sleep unless I know every door, window, rooft ile is secure and locked, have a pistol loaded and next to me... My family knows better than to keep doors unlocked.

You need to force them to watch the news, force them to see the horrific stuff that happens in this world... You need to MAKE them paranoid man! My fiancee didn't have a care in the world before she met me... Everything was all great and peachy and no one got hurt. Guess who wants to get a gun to carry and conceal now? You guessed it.

The key is to not sugar coat things for people... Watch Americas Most Wanted, tell her stories about The Night Stalker, etc... Make her scared!

A lot of crimes do happen in nice suburban areas because those families tend to have $$ and nice stuff.


Either that, or go install an alarm which makes an annoying buzzing sound till the doors are closed and locked. That'll teach her!

I'm being completely serious here, this is like in my top five of fears in life.
Frankly and no macho or anything I largely don't fear much of anything and I don't fear too many men either regardless of they being bigger then me or whatever or being criminal life involved or whatever. I'll pretty much take myself anywhere and into bad places too. I'll go by myself and not be afraid, armed or unarmed. I handle as much well which is how I've been able to get to this point and survive albeit at times by the skin of my teeth.
Crime and criminals and bad people are not unfamiliar to me, I've been there dealt with it and survived. I understand them and imposing fear on other.

What bothers me is and seriously stays with me is the fact that n 15 yrs. we've been as a couple hated on by many different people for all manner of crap ass reasons. And that with that a criminal or crazy person might do whatever to hurt my family.
I'm not so much worried about me so much as I know I can handle myself and have. I 'm concerned though about not being able to care for and support and protect my family. That worries me the most now days being in my situation.

Persons not liking me because I'm Black and thus I must be a danger, to them or their community. I'm serious. We had this issue in Burke, VA ( a very quiet but largely white out of the way enclave in Northern VA) when we were just dating and living in a rented TH quiet and too ourselves. We never had one party and very rarely had guests. I found this out though from my landlord upon she being contacted by several "concerned" neighbors saying I was to them "scary looking" and "intimidating". These same people didn't know me or us from Adam an made every opportunity to avoid us even so far as ignoring our presence even if either of us would wave and say hello.
From this though I made the active decision to begin trimming down my then 190+lb. and diesel body to something less "intimidating" although then I worked at a gym as a professional trainer and being buff was a requirement of my then career.

We've had people hate on us directly to our faces and indirectly behind our backs for us being an interracial couple. People hate because she is not a bad looking woman and I having "taken her" from the gene pool. Same on the flip side she taking me from the pool of Black mens without a record and having a job gene pool. I very much could go on and on with this.
This is why amongst a number of other personal and professional reasons I do not state my real name to people online and have not posted where I live or pics of my houses past and present or anything to that end.
Life experiences have for me shown that people sometimes can be jealous crazy wrongful minded assholes who might even show up at your doorstep unnanounced to say hi or debate crap they care about but I don't give two shits about.

Now FFWD through alot of crap that has happened to us in life thus far and we are now at this point for better and worst (it ain't all roses and Twizzlers).
We live on purpose in a very low crime community and region overall. That was not by accident. We happen to be alright enough to live in an unusual home that stands out in multiple ways. I even IRL am not all that communicative about it. When people ask me where I live I say blah blah street and if they ask for more I just say the blank color house knowing that every fourth or fifth house is blank colored around here as it's a very popular color in general. Once I even lied and told the person I lived at my neighbor from two doors down house by description only because the guy was being an ass and I was not feeling comfortable about him.
Because of my own upbringing and efforts to survive I'm not too trusting of anyone I do not know well and for a long time. I have stages of trust and it takes some time for me to know someone IRL before I might share stuff with them. It's a defense mechanism.

Anyway my point is we are high profile in our community and my wife jokes about it often like it's funny. I hate it. I'm not that kind of guy by nature.
As well we live amongst several blocks of wealthy people and they all I know for a fact are complete doofs. The nicest neighbors we've ever had ever, either of us. But they are total utter doofs.
I'd told my wife many many years ago when I was a different minded person than I am today that this place is ripe for the taking.
People leave their doors unlocked as a norm. Hell we know people who have no door key and have not had one for years because they just leave their doors unlocked. When I called the locksmith after buying this house and requested that _every_ lock along the exterior perimeter be changed and replaced with reinforced/commercial grade hardware he looked at me like I was nuts commenting it was going to cost. I told him a burglary will cost me more. I've got multiple layers of secure doors starting from the outermost going inward to the hall doors. All of them master keyed and keyed in layers as well.

I patrol our house and the outside grounds nightly.
My neighbors have gotten used to seeing me walk around with various flashlights and the dog 'letting him pee' though at first when I moved here I was often asked what are you doing out here if they saw me at all.
Every night I walk around and check the outermost doors including at the basement entrances and up all four floors which all can be accessed from the outside via multiple doors. I check our spare rooms as well weekly including the carriage house basement and an outer storage room which also is securely locked.

With all that though I go downstairs mid day to find my damn front, side, or kitchen doors unlocked if not cracked open.
What if these guys above came to my house and got the jump on me during the middle of the day while I'm zoned out on the phone with a client or deepin thought toward some other item.
I don't carry inside my house because well frankly I don't want to carry inside my house. But shit man what the fuck if?!!!

I'm tired.

- Janq is off to 'walk' the dog and the perimeter

 

[Jakes02]

Janq- do you have a closet or designated room used as a safe room for family?

I've been meaning to run some drills with the wife using the master bedroom closet as a panic room.

 

[brucelee]

Janq, look at yourself honestly and directly, and ask yourself this. "Do I really want to live here?".

Then ask yourself why you're living where you are. Is your area THAT important to everyone in your family that you cannot move? When I say move, I'm talking big time.

Here in CA, especially the Bay Area, we're so diverse that we're all nearly color blind. It's just the way it is... We've all been brought up with whites, blacks, yellows, browns, whatever, that we don't generally judge one another based on skin at all. I know people on OT say I'm racist based on the whacky things I say online, but I'm not in the least bit, nor are many others who live here. Why not come up here and visit, check it out, see how you like it... and perhaps make the move? Think about how much at ease you'd be here man... Fuck the place where you live... I'd go crazy if I was in your situation...

I dunno... I don't mean to come off all like my area is better than yours, etc... I'm just saying that the bay area is one of the most culturally diverse areas in the world, great jobs, great weather, great everything, and we have about the same gun laws that you have (actually, ours are better I think lol!).

I don't know what else to suggest, so I hope I didn't offend or make any weird statements like I tend to do.

If you come down here, you've always got a couch (or a makeshift bed) to sleep on... and we can go shooting!

It's a shame that you should have to feel that way in this day and age.


I have a possibly offensive question, and sorry if it does offend you, but I'm honestly curious.

What's worse, the overly fake PC people who go out of their way to acknowledge that you're black (Erm, African American) and that there isn't anything wrong with it (couple of my friends can't stand this), or people who avoid you because they are in fact prejudice and they make it apparent (like crossing to the other side of the street when you are walking on the same side). (This actually happens to me, especially when I have my spiked hair, flight jacket and boots, which makes me like 6'10)

Obviously both are bad, just curious to know which bothers you more.

 

[brucelee]

Oh, and on subject... Yes, running drills (which I know you do), having escape routes, teaching all family members how to use basic weapons for defense if a problem should ever arise... And get an alarm!

When I get my place after I get married, I'm having one installed... Not just to protect my house, but to make the intruders visit much shorter (statistics say that criminals are only in houses with alarms for seconds Vs mins).

And obviously, arm yourself.

 

[Janq]

Okay I just got back and got damn it!!!

I started at the second floor and worked my way to the fourth floor, all was clear and correct. I checked the exterior floodlights as well and no blown out bulbs on the third or second floor units. Cool.
I back track and reenter the center of the house by my office and check to be sure the windows are closed and locked. Check.
Then I head down the front stair and check the two kitchen doors and the interior kitchen stair door which leads to a back & secluded second floor hall. It's locked too. Great!
To finish up I check the first floor exterior widows to be sure they are closed and locked finishing up at the side entrance door which is double locked as it was when I left it earlier tonight upon going out to get some Fleet childrens enema solution as BJD was having a problem.

Last stop, the front door.
The inner air lock door (glass) was cracked open but that's normal because in summer the wood frame expands and it won't close all the way. I open ait and go through to see my front door left partially open!!!!1
FUCKKKKKKKK

Mrs. Janq had been out n the front porch with BJD trying to get him to settle and it seems she just walked back in the house without actually closing the door nevermind locking it.

I swear to God ya'll I will die in one of two ways.
An automotive accident or being attacked in my own home by some Michael Myers motherfucker from out of the blue or shadows. I know this will happen.

If ever you guys read some story about me or my family in the news do know I wasn't some out to lunch blind democratic leaning lemming. I tried man, I tried hard as I could.
Maybe I should look into automatic door closing hinges and automatic locks.

Atleast my 4yr.old daughter listens to me and actually closes doors behind herself.

- Janq

 

[Janq]

Janq- do you have a closet or designated room used as a safe room for family?

I've been meaning to run some drills with the wife using the master bedroom closet as a panic room.

Yep I do and it was one of the first rooms I planned toward upon moving here.
It's my daughters room which is literally around the corner from the MBR. I've got a hardline phone and an old cell phone in there as well as a large ABC fire extinguisher. I choose that room becaue it has just one entrance (rare for this house) and it's got a window that overlooks on to a side structure of the house at the second floor. In the event of a fire or invader breaching that room we can go out the man sized window to an area that is 20' square by ~18' off the ground and sides up to a bush good for landing into toward cushioning ones fall.
I've got a fire ladder in her closet as well for escape utility.

We haven't run any drills yet only because I haven't yet developed a plan to introduce this to my daughter in a way that won't terrify her.
I don't want my kids to grow up like I was, worried that at any second who the hell knows could break into your home or window and do whatever to you.

I'm in a Catch-22.

I'm off to bed as I have an early morning con-call.
Bruce I'll get back at ya man with a reply.
But yes, everywhere I've ever lived it's been a problem and point of reference, even amongst Black people!
i wish people would leave me alone about the whole damn Black thing I'm so friggen sick of it being pointed out to me as though some how I could possibly forget. I mean IRL.

I just want to live, be treated like I treat others which is with some humanity & courteous respect, and to have doors that are closed & locked when I come home or go to leave.

- Janq

 

[Jakes02]

We haven't run any drills yet only because I haven't yet developed a plan to introduce this to my daughter in a way that won't terrify her.

Hmmm, you may have to treat it like a game. It's a fine line between her thinking it's a game and taking it seriously enough to act in an emergency.


glass breaking is an obvious and audible sign of bad things happening so you could get a cheap piece of glass from wal-mart.

run the drill on mom and little ones with you being the bad guy(I suggest the kids NOT see you as the bad guy, I'm not a psychologist but this could have some kind of impact in the future.)

Sit down and tell them that they will be practicing hiding from the bad guys. Inform mom that the drill starts when the glass breaks. Once they understand what is going to happen open the door and smash the glass(outside of course). Theoretically all of them will hear the glass and head for the hills.

This should be a timed event. Mom will have to keep track since you'll be standing at the door.

Once they get comfortable with the basic drill you can modify it to account for entry from different locations etc. etc.

Glass breaking is rather startling but not scary so it's not like you are doing a shock and awe treatment of your own house. If you keep it simple by hiding from "the bad guys" it seems less scary.

Just a thought....

 

[Ducman]

Janq,
You need to find that one thing that triggers the response you want. the security approach isn't working and pressing the issue will only make you look paranoid in her eyes. unless she has a major event that changes her beliefs, you will not get thru with the security approach. Don't try to force it thru fear, She feels safe in her world, don't take that away, it will get turn back on you as anger.

if your doors are open, what keeps the Baby Janqs from exiting? If they are not old enough to walk, they soon will be, and having open doors will be a major concern.... maybe try this approach with Mrs Janq.

 

[Janq]

Ducman,

You know why I like you alot?
Because not once in what 3 yrs. now have you ever given me a wrong answer or bad piece of advice nor come at me all jerk style.

Guess what, once again you are totally right.
Thirty minutes ago she came up to my office all pissed off saying don't send me anymore e-mails like that!!! I don't like that!!!
I told her about the door being open last night and she replied it was _me_ because myself and my daughter had been outside playing after dinner and went for a walk. I told her nope, because I took my keys (I NEVER leave the house without my keys) and that I'd locked the door upon leaving and returning and that it was actually her who was last out the door last night with BJD and that I'd checked the doors at 2Am before going to bed.
Her response, silence.
She then said that she just doesn't want to hear about this "hype". I responded hype?! It's real news that was all over the news just yesterday all day in a town a state over that is actually safer than our own as based on the stats. I pointed out it is undeniable those people were for all intents & purposes just like us...which they are aside from me not being a doctor and they being a decade older than us.
She then went on about how she just doesn't want to hear about it and some more of how it's not important to her et. al.

Jesus man what do I have to do?
She has been brought up here in this damn 'Happy Valley' and has the mentality of eh bad things happen to other people and bad people and not in my snow globe.

Sigh.

Seriously guys this story really bothered me.
Normally I read a news story of victims and I feel badly for the people and I try to learn from the episode a lesson for myself. But in this case it hit me hard right at my own heart because the circumstances it very well could have been us. Really.
I'd had a conversation with my wife not 3 weeks ago about why are there so many obviously mentally ill persons roaming the streets amongst our local towns? Weekly in the police blotter there is reference to one or two going off on a person and the po-po being called in. As well there is here an oddly high population of Class 3 criminals on parole toward sex crimes against women and children. I knew this to start and had said as much to her back when we were in VA prior to deciding to buy here but I guess she forgot. Recently a lady in her play gorup found out her next door neighbor is renting a room to a convicted pedophile having seen the reference posted in the local paper police blotter. They are required to register and it is noted for the public. I ran for Mrs. Janq the MA state search via a link at our local PD website and just for our area lone there are 5 within a 4 to 5 block radius. She was all shocked and like WTF and I was like what, this ain't new news as it used to be 6 or 7 a year or so ago.

Neither my wife nor I are perfect people.
I have my issues too like forgetting to take my shoes off upon entering the house and I struggle to remember peoples names and everybody for me pretty much looks the same so I find it hard to tell who is who from whom here. I've never had a problem with the latter untill moving here. I can't tell one homely looking earth momma from the next. I'm like who are you again? Ohhh hi, you! :\

But dirt from outside on the floor ain't gonna get me or mine killed nor will not remembering the name of the lady from play group who I only see once a month or so or not pronouncing the oddball spelled name of the preschool director correctly because it's my fault she has some fucked up new agey pronounced name. What happened to regular name names like Mary, Ann, Sarah, Lisa, Carrie, Kim, Louisa, or Erica. No decoding or linguistics course required!

Anyway I don't bitch too much about stuff but this it's just an area of real concern for me.
I pray I am totally wrong and paranoid and never in life ever have to deal with this issue with my family now. But I cannot forget where I've come from and gone through or seen including finding my then neighbor at an apt. we lived in murdered with his head/skull literally crushed in upon being victim to a home invasion. Or hearing my female neighbor in the apt. above fight off her BF and his friend unssuccesfully screaming and crying as they did something to her that to this day I just don't know exactly what. She moved away a week later her face beaten and she moving/walking really slowly...along with other really awful stuff that nobody should know about or see. I'd be able to write it off mentally as ehh thats just how it goes down in Section 8 housing life, like lots of others do, if it weren't for the fact that thats not true. It's freaking all over the news national and local news and experts who study this crap for a job like the FBI, CDC, and insurance actuaries too know this all to be truth.

I don't know what else to do or try or think.
I've got no answers aside from eh just let what happens happen and hope for the best and pray for a quick & full recovery.

Thank you guys for letting me blow off steam and vent with my admittedly long and unedited for typos rant.

- Janq

P.S. - Duc the only thing that keeps BabyJanq inside the house as opposed to walk out is that the she's not strong enough yet to open the glass airlock door which tends to stick. As well I've been drilling it in her daily since before she could walk that she is not to exit the house without a parent escort. She's not allowed to play outside alone. Even with that it's happened twice where she wanted to go swing or another time pick a flowers and she just walked on out the door which both times was left open during the day by my wife(!).
I tried the hey the kids could walk/crawl into the street trick too. I'd even sent her news links toward the last three incidents of as much to hit national news. Nothing but same and continuation of regular.
This is partly my fault as we've always lived in relatively safe areas because I didn't want my wife to be afraid to go for a awlk with the dog or be home alone. Maybe I should have through the years had us live in DC/Georgetown like I'd thought to do for real prior to moving here or have us move to West Springfield as I'd looked into before OTters strongly suggested against as much due to the crime and bad schools.

 

[Ducman]

It is very disheartening to find out that the time and energy spent trying to protect your family is not only not appreciated, but seen as foolish.

I would stop sending her links and news articles, its a "Told you so" to someone that doesn't want to believe what you believe. The "it can't happen to me" belief is deeply engrained, the person in denial needs this wall to protect them. tearing it down leaves them extremely vulnerable, open and uprotected to the horrors of the world. Now the CT incident can happen to them, how are they going to function everyday with that fear.

You need to build a new wall as the old wall is slowly torn down. replace denial, with knowledge, but educate by showing how to build strength, how to protect and be viligent. Do not educate thru fear.

Show her its the little things that you do everday that protects you and the family. This is going to be a long process, she may start closing door soon, but its more to make you happy then a change in her beliefs, keep going slowly, one day she will have the epiphany that she needs.

you are going to have to approach this from an emotional stand point not a factual one

 

[Gun-Nut]

Are you trying to say all white people look the same/!?!?!?




Seriously though, that would drive me insane. How the hell do you deal with that? I can't sleep unless I know every door, window, rooftile is secure and locked, have a pistol loaded and next to me... My family knows better than to keep doors unlocked.

You need to force them to watch the news, force them to see the horrific stuff that happens in this world... You need to MAKE them paranoid man! My fiancee didn't have a care in the world before she met me... Everything was all great and peachy and no one got hurt. Guess who wants to get a gun to carry and conceal now? You guessed it.

The key is to not sugar coat things for people... Watch Americas Most Wanted, tell her stories about The Night Stalker, etc... Make her scared!

A lot of crimes do happen in nice suburban areas because those families tend to have $$ and nice stuff.


Either that, or go install an alarm which makes an annoying buzzing sound till the doors are closed and locked. That'll teach her!

Try making her read stories on the BTK killer. That'll scare the shit out of most people.

 

[Janq]

Thanks Duc.

I feel like a total moron, a buffoon even.
Though I know I'm not missing the boat on this one.

I'll try your advisory.
I'm just not good with emotion...I'm a thinker/logic/what makes sense and what doesn't analyze it and make a play type of person.
It's been tough she and I being so completely different and this item is yet another example of such. Meh.

I went downstairs an hour ago as ironically UPS was here (I heard the doorbell ring this time!) ) to drop off my in for repair Gladius illuminator, which is a whole other story in itself.
Anyway she suggested that I make up signs and place them at all the doors to remind her to close the door and lock them.
I'll get working on that tonight!

I kind of feel like a jerk now for being so mad and upset about this.
All I want is for my family to be reasonably safe.
It's not like I'm asking we go dig a moat or move to a fortified castle or some such. Just close and lock the door behind yourself upon entry & exit. :|

- Janq

P.S. - I owe you and the guys here a rootbeer.

 

[xxG3xx]

omg my old roommates would do the same it drove me crazy....thats one of the reasons i moved out

 

[KingPerformance]

Janq,

Are the doors easy to close and lock? Is it a newer style home or an older home with doors that tend to stick and locks that require more attention? I don't believe that a person should ignore doors or locks but I did notice that my front door started being properly closed when I replaced it with a new door and locking mechanism. From my personal observation, the easier you make it to lock and close a door the better.

Good examples.
Improved door knobs
I personally installed door knobs that open from the inside but are locked from the outside. These work BEST with deadbolts, but will help increase the rate of door locking regardless upon egress. This also increases lockouts, but you give some you take some.

Pressure and vacuum
Storm doors that “leak” are better then air tight units. You probably never even thought of this, but when you close the door you create a positive pressure pocket between the door and the storm door. I had to drill a few “vents” into my brand new storm door for this positive pressure to escape and the door to close “easily” I was finding the door ¼” open and the deadbolt touching the wood door frame. This means the door was being closed, and a key was put into the deadbolt and turned but nothing was locked.

Best of luck.

 

[Jeremy]

We're totally guilty of ths. We never lock the doors, she may when i'm away but I really don't know; we don't even lock whe we leave on vacation. I'm like the ppl Janq's talking about. Rural development/ perfect target, the only door that gets locked is my toy room and you ain't getting in there with out a chunk of c4 I don't even have keys to the exterior door locks. She has a set but never uses them since they're on her key chain and we never pull the car keys at home so you could tke any vehicle i the garage or drivewy.

It's just something i've never done.I think partly cockiness in that I know i can handle anyone that would come in unexpectedly and part country attitude/ neighboors got your back thinking from growing up in BFE

When I was like 10 maybe we went on vacation and my parents we having some remodeling done , new carpet and furniture put in while we were gone. The the furnitur company ppl were in the middle of moving the old furniture out when 1 of our neighboors drove by, he saw ppl moving all the stuff drove home call the police and came back and held the delivery ppl at gunpoint for a hour util the cos finally got there and verified everything.

 

[Janq]

New Details Suggest Pair May Have Planned Conn. Home Invasion

As updated today by ABCNews.com:

Parolees May Have Watched Girls Before Attack
New Details Suggest Pair May Have Planned Conn. Home Invasion

The state medical examiner confirmed Tuesday evening that Jennifer Hawke-Petit, 48, was strangled to death and that her two daughters Hayley, 17, and 11-year-old Michaela died of smoke inhalation. State prosecutors will now consider whether to file capital murder charges against the two suspects in the crime. (John Muldoon/Polaris Images)

July 26, 2007

As prosecutors consider filing capital murder charges against the two suspects in the deadly Connecticut home invasion that left a mother and her two daughters dead, new details have emerged about why the family may have been targeted in the first place.

Police said Wednesday they believe the pair accused in the brutal attack — Joshua Komisarjevsky, 26, and Steven Hayes, 44 — may have cooked up the plot after spotting the Petit sisters at a supermarket.

After seeing the two girls, Michaela, 11, and Haley, 17, the suspects then may have gone to a nearby store to purchase an air rifle and rope, police said.

Shortly after 3 a.m. Monday, their plot unfolded, police said, with the two breaking into the Cheshire home and terrorizing Michaela, Haley and their parents, William Petit and Jennifer Hawke-Petit, for six hours.

The attack included sexual assault, robbery and, ultimately, arson, according to police. Hawke-Petit, a 48-year-old school nurse, was dragged to a bank to withdraw a large sum of money. Bank officials called police, who responded to find the house ablaze.

The two suspects were arrested after ramming into multiple police cars as they tried to escape the scene in the Petits' car.

Inside the house, police found the mother and daughters dead. An initial medical examiner's report ruled that Hawke-Petit had been strangled and that her two daughters had died of smoke inhalation. William Petit, a prominent endocrinologist, escaped from the attack badly beaten, but alive.

New Haven state Attorney Michael Dearington, the prosecutor in the case, has said he will do a thorough investigation before deciding whether the two suspects should face a capital murder charge despite the public outrage the attack has sparked.

"I know the public consensus is they should be fried tomorrow," Dearington said Wednesday.

The criminal charges in Connecticut that carry the death penalty are: murder committed in the course of committing first-degree sexual assault, murder of a kidnapped person, murder of two or more people at the same time and murder of someone younger than 16 years of age.

Suspects Not Strangers to Trouble

Komisarjevsky and Hayes are both convicted burglars and parolees with lengthy criminal records. Each is being held on $15 million bond while police consider additional charges.

The two had been roommates for a time at a drug treatment center and halfway house in Hartford last year. Komisarjevsky, the grandson of a renowned Russian theater director, lived just miles from the Petits.

The crime already has prompted the Connecticut Board of Pardons and Parole to review its policies. The parole board chairman has acknowledged that it didn't have as much information as it should have had about the men's records, such as the transcript from a 2002 sentencing at which a Bristol Superior Court judge called Komisarjevsky "a cold, calculating predator."

Wednesday, Richard Hawke, Hawke-Petit's father, joined family, friends and strangers grieving over the tragedy.

"They're two wonderful girls, and it's such a waste. They had so much potential to give to the world," Hawke said. "I think God is crying with us today over this disaster."

The Associated Press contributed to this article.

The story can be found at; http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=3416795&page=1

- Janq