Sorry for bumping this old thread, but I was searching for an old thread and came about this one.
Good read and I'm proud of you Janq. You def set a great example for ALL of us here on Gunatics, and we're lucky to have someone as mature and "spoken" as you aboard. When we're wrong, you let us know... You don't call us names or berate us, but you make sure we know that we were in the wrong no matter who we are/were. You know who else does that? Brothers, fathers, and other family members.
It's rare to find friends who are willing to tell it like it is in fear of losing the said friendship, but if one is to lose a friendship just from telling the truth, then the friend wasn't worth it anyway as he/she was too immature to realize that you were just trying to help them in a way that everyone else was afraid to.
When in doubt, ask Adler.
Gunatic Loyalist (Bow down)
All kinds of agreed.
Originally Posted by brucelee
Gunatic Loyalist (Bow down)
Thank you Bruce, very kind words you've said there.
I consider everyone at this board to be among my 'net friends.
Most of you I have known for years between here and NASIOC/OT as wellas the Crowbarn/Armory prior.
I feel comfortable that you guys understand where I'm coming from as related to mindset and world view. And that honestly I mean no harm what so ever nor intent to offend. I'm just really big on education.
Knowing stuff has literally saved my skin and bones more times than I can count, and I share same with my friends...here and IRL if opportunity allows.
In kind I myself know and understand where folk here are coming from, and by that I try to support and boost folk rather than tear them down.
I try to teach same to my kids now. The world is full of haters and dicks. Life is hard enough with those people to join in and just simply be another dick.
Anyway it's funny that you bring this thread up because I was there again for the first time in literally months this past weekend.
Emotionally I have been traumatized by this event. I say this because before the incident I'd walk into that store and any other Home Depot with no thought what so ever but to find stuff and pay for it.
Not any more.
At first for weeks this really bothered me. I went through literally every piece of clothing I own, even the old stuff I don't wear all that often and I took scissors to every sketchy looking tag I could find. I didn't find many of these tags but it gave me some degree of piece of mind to be pro-active in reducing what was to my view a threat against my ability to remain invisible as a gun carrier among the world where I travel.
It's now become my SOP to check all newly purchased clothing for these tags, not just my own but my wife and the kids too. As most often they are with me and imagine if it had been the clothing of one of my kids that cause the buzzer to go off. Very often they are carried in hand by me. The result would wind up being same...Request to visually check me, the adult. Spillover.
As well now when I do go into Home Depot like this weekend I find myself actively selecting the cashier who is physically most distant from the scanner at the exit, which is to the far left. This has become a sub-conscious thought that I consciously picked up on. As well when I depart I now purposefully walk to the middle of the device rather than right near it as I had this events day.
But on the whole I have changed my shopping habits with Home Depot 100%.
I used to go there all the time. Heck I'd stop by just to walk around and look at crap to buy later. It was fun.
No longer, and my wife and kids have noticed. My son asked me in December when could we go to Home Depot again...because we have not been in a long time.
Then my wife she had asked me to hang a picture in the kitchen...In November. It sat in the corner until roughly a week ago.
Why? Because in my mind I did not want to return to Home Depot. Now of course there are other hardware stores around my town but to my sub-conscious mind I'd associated such type product to Home Depot...and by that the chance of being busted. I had not realized this until noting that my wife on her won who in 16 yrs. has never hung anything that required more than tape went to Home Depot, picked up some mounting gear and grabbed my drill and level from the tool kit and hung the picture herself.
She was very proud of herself as well she should be. I felt like a punk ass.
So on Saturday for no specific reason I geared up fully, grabbed my son and we went to Home Depot...To buy nothing, and just walk around. He in the cart smiling and having fun. Me to get my mind right.
We walked out and all was fine. No buzzer. No troubles.
I actually felt nervous though. I never get nervous, not even when speaking in public before a large group of people or when being filmed for broadcast both being items I've done as of late.
As I drove us home I thought about how I felt, being nervous the whole time. WTF?!
The same kind of feeling of nerves that I get when I go to local police stations, as a visitor/guest. Guest and escorted in and around by higher ups as high as the chief or a captain...and yet due to again negative experience past I feel nervous and find it difficult to shake. Anxiety.
Though on my exterior as based on results they do not pick up on it. Well practiced suppression and control of shown emotion as through my life toward survival at home and on the streets. To not get punked.
My world would quite simply be ruined if I were to be outed.
Here where I live and among the people I regularly spend time with they are very much anti-gun in mindsight. Others are okay with huntin' and sport use but only cops and criminals carry guns on their person.
To be outed would have negative effect not just on me but that of my kids and family overall as in a real and irreversible this place is a small town with lasting memory manner.
This incident at Home Depot shook me, and that's not easy to do.
But I learned lessons from it and what ever doesn't get you killed or busted makes you stronger and smarter, so as to survive.
Carry is not fun nor easy. Many days I just would rather be done with it and not do so, and roll like as my wife says 'normal people'.
When people online remark about how they feel being able to carry is fun or something special to look forward to...I often think to myself and wonder do these people have any idea what really is involved and on the line as on the whole? I think not.
I continue to carry, and train.
A very personal choice of action that I find to be neither fun nor easy.
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